The Desire Of My Heart

ONE YEAR AS A FOREVER FAMILY! ! !

2011-07-05T11:06:00.001-05:00

July 5th will rank right up there with Christmas for me and Eden - the day we became a forever family! I put this video together to celebrate my special girl and our first incredible year together.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY...

2011-03-22T10:11:00.002-05:00

So this is my first (and hopefully not last!) post since Eden was placed in my arms – 8 wonderful months ago. A week hasn’t passed that I haven’t felt guilty about not updating my blog, but today of all days, I was determined to make it happen. One year ago today, my cell phone FINALLY rang with “Children’s Hope” on the Caller ID. I was crying before I even answered the phone, knowing my whole world was about to change. Shortly after being told I was going to be mother to a beautiful Ethiopian baby girl, I received an email and viewed her sweet face for the first time. What a day of celebration! I’m choosing today to (finally!) share with you some excerpts of the journal I kept when I traveled to Ethiopia 3-1/2 months later to bring my girl home:

7/4/10
We have arrived safely in Ethiopia. As my country celebrates its independence, I’m about to lose mine. The 16-hour flight was a rollercoaster of emotions, much like the past 2-1/2 years have been. A friend of mine had recently shared how when she went into labor, and the doctor said it was time, she screamed, “No! You can’t! I’m not ready!” And I had a similar feeling today mid-flight. Am I really ready for this? Is any mom really ready?! Can I be a good mom to Eden and give her all the love and care she deserves? The unanswered questions go on and on – I guess that’s a part of motherhood.

And I found myself immersed in my iPod listening to a random shuffle of songs that have shaped my life. It was funny how, as I listened, I could put my thoughts of Eden into almost any lyric. Johnny Lee’s “Lookin’ For Love” (I spent a lifetime lookin’ for you…) and Elvis’ version of “Let It Be Me” (I bless the day I found you…) just to name a couple.

Then, just 15 minutes or so outside of Addis Ababa, my random shuffle of 462 songs chose “Bless The Broken Road”, mine and Eden’s theme song, and the tears fell uncontrollably. It was a reminder that all of this is God’s work – the amazing gift He chose especially for me.

And now I lay me down to sleep (if I can sleep!), praying that Eden will feel the love I have for her and soon realize what I already do.

7/5/10
I woke up this morning at 7AM with the realization I would be meeting Eden in just a couple of hours. They said they would pick us up at 9AM to take us to the CHI transition home. We ate a yummy oatmeal breakfast then I headed back to our room to prepare for our pick-up. Shortly before 9AM, I heard the honks of the van signaling their arrival, and I raced down the stairs, more than ready to take that ride. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I stopped in my tracks. Was that a pink blanket being carried by the young woman in the back seat?! Oh my gosh, could that be Eden?! There was shouting and a bit of hysteria between me, Angie and the Lankfords who had planned to help photograph and videotape the big moment. As we scrambled to distribute and turn on all the cameras, I walked into view of my beautiful girl. As her nanny passed her to me, I was surprised how lightweight she was – so much smaller than I had envisioned (which is certainly fine with me!). She didn’t cry – we just stared at each other – and she gripped my finger. It wasn’t long before she put her head on my shoulder and fell asleep. I couldn’t believe it – I suppose it was just overwhelming for her. By lunchtime, she was smiling from ear to ear and melting my heart. I had always figured I would cry my eyes out when I was finally united with my daughter, but the moment I had dreamed about for so long happened so quickly that it just felt natural and like it was always meant to be. It was a day of so many firsts – first bottle, first poopy diaper, first kisses – lots of kisses! My daughter is even more beautiful in person, and I have spent the day thanking God for the honor of being her mother.

7/6/10
We’re seeing a pattern where Eden does not want to be left alone, not even put down. She cries uncontrollably when I change her diaper or change her clothes, and tonight our first bath time was a disaster and ended not long before it began. Tsegay mentioned to me that she likes to be held and cries when she is not. I certainly don’t mind holding her as much as possible, and I just pray that in time she will develop a trust that I am not going to leave her.

Having Angie here has been a priceless gift. I can’t imagine spending these first few days alone. She has gone into full mommy mode, gently guiding and making suggestions along the way. Not to mention she has been the toter of all bags, official photographer, food server when I’m busy feeding Eden, and pretty much any other hat I need her to wear. I know it’s not easy for her – it would be much easier to care for Eden herself instead of watching this first-time mom blunder through. And she left her own family for a week to help me start mine. I will forever be grateful for the sacrifice and devotion she has made to this journey.

Knowing what a big help Angie has been, I am overwhelmed about doing this on my own. I know I can, but boy, it isn’t going to be easy. I just pray that Eden will be patient with her mommy as she learns the role.

7/7/10
It was overall another good day. When we stopped by the CHI transition home where Eden had lived the past 6 months, several of the workers greeted her – they affectionately call her “Tizu” – showering her with hugs and kisses. They all obviously love the children very much. At one point, one of them reached out to hold her then Eden began crying and reaching out to me. Everyone broke into applause yelling “Mama!!” recognizing it was a good sign that Eden is already distinguishing me as her mom. I feel her trust in me is increasing, but we’ve got a long way to go. One day at a time!

ONE BEAUTIFUL DAY AT A TIME INDEED…

How Could You Know?

2010-07-02T09:45:00.002-05:00

As you lay sleeping far away as still as you could be...

How could you know the joy today this photo brings to me?

A few short days and you'll be mine

And "I" will soon be "we"

How could you know the love I feel?

It's something you can't see.

So have sweet dreams, my precious babe

Sleep well and tenderly.

Some say that you're the lucky one

How could you know it's me?

-Kris Laughlin

ETHIOPIA & EDEN - HERE I COME!!

2010-06-28T21:59:00.004-05:00

I received word today that I will leave THIS SATURDAY to finally bring my sweet girl home forever! To think that a week from now, I will be seeing her and holding her and touching her and kissing her and smelling her and ... well, you get the picture. :) Please pray that this huge transition for both of us will go as smoothly as possible.

I received this new photo today - I finally got a SMILE! Maybe she knows her mama is on her way. Here's hoping there are lots of smiles to come and perhaps the next photo I post will be one of us smiling TOGETHER.

Thank you, God, for sending me this beautiful blessing! Your timing is perfect indeed.

ADHESIVE BONDING!

2010-06-25T18:02:00.002-05:00

This is by far the most difficult blog post I have made so far, but perhaps the most important. To all of you already experienced in the adoption world, this is Adoption 101. This post is for my amazing friends and family who are celebrating this wonderful time with me and have never been this close to adoption.

Let me start by saying there is nothing I would love more than to see all of your faces as I get off the plane with Eden. And I would love to bring her by my workplace soon after we’re home and pass her around to all of those who have anticipated Eden’s arrival with such excitement and support. But when I started this process, I quickly learned this is not what’s best for Eden, and of course, she is top priority. Think about it – she hasn’t been with her mom for the first 10 months of her life. She will not recognize me as her mom, and in her own way, she will surely grieve leaving the only home and ‘family’ she has known. It’s going to be overwhelming for her as she enters a new and much bigger world. Just as a newborn bonds with her mother, Eden and I will have to go through an intimate bonding cycle where I consistently show her that I, as her mom, will meet her needs when she is hungry, needs her diaper changed, or simply wants to be held. She is going to need time to transfer the trust she has for her current caretakers to me.

So am I saying I don’t need you when we get home? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I most definitely will need your support more than ever, but instead of asking you to watch Eden so I can accomplish a particular task, I would instead be grateful for help in the form of providing a meal, running an errand, or perhaps mowing my yard. There is no doubt I am going to be overwhelmed, but I feel so blessed to have so many people rooting for me. Staying low-key for awhile will hopefully pay off in the long run as Eden is slowly introduced to her multitude of fans!

Above is the latest pic of my sweet girl – it won’t be long now before we are face to face!

SHE'S MINE!!!!

2010-06-01T10:56:00.003-05:00

Praise God - I passed court, and my Ethiopian princess is officially mine! Click "pause" on the music player in the lower right corner then hit "play" below to meet my beautiful girl.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

COURT COUNTDOWN!

2010-05-25T19:15:00.004-05:00

The countdown is here - my court date is less than a week away. I have a wonderful, peaceful feeling knowing there are so many people praying for me and my baby girl. And I truly believe God's timing is perfect. I humbly ask that you say a special prayer as you go to bed this Sunday 30th on the eve of my court date. My case will be brought to the Ethiopian court as we sleep that evening. Wouldn’t it be my luck that my court date falls on a holiday, so unfortunately, I will have to wait until Tuesday 1st to learn the results from my agency. I figure I’ve waited 2-1/2 years, so surely one more day won’t kill me!

It is common not to pass court the first time due to a technicality – all of the planets have to align just perfectly! A fellow Ethiopia adoptive mom gave me permission to share the detailed list of prayer requests she used as her case was going to court. This will give you a better understanding of what must occur and what to pray for:

1. That the MOWA (Ministry of Women’s Affairs) representative, judge and orphanage director will be at court along with anyone else who needs to be.

2. That the official seals and signatures will be where they need to be in the paperwork.

3. That my daughter’s name will be on all the documents and spelled correctly.

4. That my name will be on all the documents and spelled correctly.

5. That MOWA will write the approval summary for the judge and get it to him or her on time.

6. That the judge and/or MOWA representative will not be in a meeting.

7. That court will not be postponed.

8. That nothing will be able to come against court being passed.

Thank you for your continued prayers – here’s hoping I will be introducing you to my beautiful girl’s face next week!

COURT DATE!

2010-05-12T18:02:00.001-05:00

I finally received word today that my court date in Ethiopia is officially scheduled for Monday, May 31st. Fortunately, my documents were submitted prior to the start of the new 2-trip policy, so I will only be making 1 trip. A huge relief for me! So if all goes smoothly and I pass court on the 31st, I hope to be headed to Ethiopia in early July to bring my daughter back to her forever home.

This good news was certainly welcome in light of the devastating floods that wreaked havoc on Nashville last week. As you have probably heard in the media, my workplace was hit hard, and we will be displaced from our offices for several weeks. And I have friends & co-workers who have lost everything. On Saturday when the rains began, I was moaning about my leaky roof. By Monday, I was thankful for my leaky roof and no further damage to my home. These next few weeks are going to be very challenging as I continue to work with limited resources, but it is wonderful to know that happy times with my beautiful girl are on the horizon!

I appreciate your continued prayers!

HELP BRING MY ETHIOPIAN PRINCESS HOME!

2010-04-26T14:09:00.000-05:00

I have had several friends and family asking how they can help as I draw closer to bringing my Ethiopian princess home. I have always been independent and self-sufficient, so I squirm a bit as these inquiries come in, wanting to say “I’ve got it all covered!” yet quickly realizing that I am certainly going to need help and support in many forms. So I have come up with a list of ways you can make a difference:

MONETARY DONATIONS – It’s no secret that international adoption is a pricey endeavor – but certainly worth every penny! I am still anxiously waiting to hear whether my sister and I will be required to make 2 trips under Ethiopia’s new policy – something I certainly didn’t anticipate or budget for. And it appears we will be flying to Ethiopia at peak season when flights are at their most expensive – probably $2000-2500 roundtrip for each of us (times 2 if we have to make the 2 trips). If you would like to make a monetary donation to help fund our travel, click on the DONATE link at the top right of this page.

FREQUENT FLYER MILES – I assume no one has any frequent flyer miles for Ethiopian Airlines (ha), but we will also need to get from Nashville to Washington, DC (Dulles - IAD) for the Ethiopian flight. If you have a surplus of miles you might be able to donate, please contact me.

YARD SALES! – I am participating in TWO upcoming yard sales – my trash may very well be your treasure! The first is a giant yard sale hosted by Gaylord Entertainment employees this Saturday, May 1st from 8 AM-3 PM at the Gaylord Entertainment Pavilion, across from Engineering and the Commissary on Opry Mills Drive. Then anything I don’t sell will go to Yard Sale #2 which I am co-hosting with a friend on Saturday, May 8th at 2850 McGavock Pike, Nashville 37214. If you need more information, let me know.

ETHIOPIA DONATIONS – I will be bringing donations to Ethiopia for my daughter’s orphanage and my agency’s transition home, House of Hope. Here is a list of needed items:

Medical & Hygiene Items for Staff & Children: Surgical masks, chewable vitamins, band-aids, deodorant, toothbrushes, toothpaste, Neosporin ointment, Tylenol

Cloth Diapers (no disposables)

Toys: books, puzzles, rattles, coloring books, large crayons, jump ropes, balloons

Quality Children’s Clothing, Underwear & Shoes: new or gently worn – all sizes and seasons

Baby Care Items: diaper pins, baby wipes, baby soap, teeth rings, bottles & nipples, blankets, crib sheets

LARGE SUITCASES – To transport these donations, I will need 1-2 large, durable suitcases (that I may opt to leave in Ethiopia).

I appreciate any contribution you may choose to give – nothing is too small, and it will all make a difference. I am blessed beyond measure to have so much love and support. Thank you again for celebrating this incredible time in my life!

I GOT MY CALL!!

2010-03-26T18:46:00.010-05:00

On Monday morning, I received an email devotional that said “God Wants To Surprise You”. And my best buddy, Dan, had told me that he thought Monday would be THE DAY which made me all the more nervous. Sure enough, he was right! Yes, it finally happened – my phone rang on Monday, March 22nd at 1:00 PM with the news I’ve been so patiently waiting for. I have been blessed beyond my imagination with a beautiful 7-month-old baby girl. She is absolutely perfect – such a cutie! Above is the video of me seeing her face for the first time. I will treasure that moment forever! (Excuse my messy desk and red nose & eyes! Ha)

I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends – THANK YOU! Many of you are asking the same questions, so I thought I would answer them here as best as I can for now:

WHAT IS HER NAME? I am still considering a handful of names – it’s a huge decision! When I finally decide, I will let you know.

WE WANT TO SEE PICTURES! I wish I could share her pictures with you here on my blog or by email, but I am unable to do so until she legally becomes mine. However, if you see me in person, I will be happy to show you the copies I have! I can give written permission to any families traveling to Ethiopia before me to take additional photos, so hopefully I’ll get more soon!

WHEN WILL I GET TO BRING HER HOME? Believe me, that’s the big question I am asking! There is a lot up in the air at the moment concerning whether I will be making 1 or 2 trips to Ethiopia (likely 2) and exactly what the time frame will be. On average, I am hoping to have her home with me within 3-4 months. The news about the possible 2 trips is so new that the details are ever-changing, and my agency is doing its best to get definitive answers for me asap. You’ll know once I know!

Please continue to pray for me and my baby girl in the coming weeks. God is so good!

SO CLOSE!

2010-03-12T13:43:00.003-06:00

Well, the last time I posted I was “Top Ten”, the next day I moved to “Top Five”, so here’s hoping this post will bring similar luck. Drum roll, please…I AM NOW AT THE TOP OF THE LIST. Okay, actually, I’m not sure if I’m #1 or #2 (there’s a mystery family in front of me, but I’m not sure if they are waiting on a baby girl or a sibling group), but the bottom line is that the call I have waited exactly 2 years, 1 month, 2 weeks & 3 days for could come at any moment. My cell phone is officially with me at all times just waiting to ring!

The big news for this week was a completely unexpected announcement that the Ethiopian government has declared that prospective adoptive parents will now be required to travel to Ethiopia for their court date prior to bringing their children home. Yes, that means I will be making TWO TRIPS to Ethiopia. I will be the first to admit I am not the greatest at adapting to change, so I’ve been a little whacked trying to wrap my brain around this news. There are still many unanswered questions, but I am trying to focus on the positive. First and foremost, it appears I will get to meet my daughter sooner than I expected. And secondly, by meeting my daughter prior to going to court, she will now automatically become a U.S. citizen when we arrive in the States rather than having to go through a re-adoption process. Of course, the negatives include having to leave Ethiopia without my daughter on the 1st trip, and there’s the expense of an extra flight. Hey, it’s just money, right? :) I would rather be putting those dollars towards my daughter’s education, but I am faithful in believing that this is all a part of God’s plan as He maps out my journey to unite me and my sweet girl.

Please keep me in your prayers in the coming days as I anxiously wait for the call that will change my life forever.

2010-02-22T16:08:00.001-06:00

Yes, I am proud to announce I am officially in the Top Ten - #9 to be exact – on the waiting list. Such a long way from my original number of 105! Unfortunately, baby girl referrals are slow-going at this point which may mean at least another couple of months before I get THE call. If you go back and read my previous postings, you’ll see how much the timeline for international adoption can fluctuate. I thought I would be a mom by now, but God has a different plan. I have been so patient throughout this journey, at peace knowing that it’s all going to happen in God’s time. But I have to admit I have been struggling for the past few weeks. The human side of me is growing restless and wants it to happen NOW. But I’ve had a couple of messages delivered to me in the past week that put me at ease. First, another waiting mom-to-be pointed out that since this will likely be her last child (she already has a beautiful Ethiopian son), she is learning to EMBRACE this period of waiting, knowing she will probably never experience this journey again. I recently read that waiting is not just about the end result – it’s about what you become throughout the process. So I am choosing to EMBRACE this time as I draw near the finish line. And I was struck by the sermon at church yesterday that said that SUFFERING is a gift from God, just as is His deliverance from the suffering. This uncomfortable feeling of anticipation (suffering, if you will) is all a part of appreciating what’s on the horizon.

Sweet Drowsy Doll

2009-12-10T16:42:00.002-06:00

Do girls my age remember the blonde, blue-eyed Drowsy doll from the late 60's/early 70's? Well, for whatever reason (fate, perhaps?), my parents got me a black Drowsy doll instead. How cool is it going to be to show my daughter this picture someday?

I'm up to #20 on the waiting list - can't wait to move up one more notch and say I'm in the 'teens! :)

Somewhere Out There...

2009-11-19T13:24:00.000-06:00

It has been awhile since I updated my blog. It has been raining referrals at my agency this week, and I am pleased to report I have jumped to #27 on the waiting list. It feels amazing to be in the 20’s. The wait for infant girls has extended to an average of 14-15 months which means I will now hopefully get that magic phone call around March/April. It is disappointing that I won’t be celebrating this holiday season as a mommy as I originally thought I would, but the time really is passing quickly, and it will happen when God knows the time is right. A friend of mine recently pointed out that, at the very least, my baby girl has been conceived and is living in her bio mom’s tummy RIGHT NOW. Or there’s a chance she may already have entered this world! That gives me HUGE GOOSEBUMPS. Hang on, sweet baby girl – I can’t wait to hold you in my arms!

Waiting For My Appointed Time

2009-08-27T10:29:00.003-05:00

This morning's devotional email from Joel Osteen nailed it on the head:

For the vision is yet for an appointed time…though it tarry, wait for it"(Habakkuk 2:3 KJV)

God has an appointed time to fulfill the visions, dreams, and desires in your heart. Just because it has taken a long time, doesn't mean it's not going to happen. Don't give up on those dreams! Our God is a faithful God. No matter how long it's been, no matter how impossible things looks, if you'll stay in faith, your appointed time is coming.

Remember, every dream that's in your heart, every promise that has taken root, God put it in there. And not only that, but He has every intention of bringing it to pass. Hold on to that vision today by declaring, "My time is coming. God is working behind the scenes on my behalf. I will fulfill my destiny!"

Ethiopian Princesses!

2009-08-10T19:09:00.005-05:00

I have been richly blessed to become involved in an adoptive moms' group. We meet on Saturday mornings once a month to just visit and give each other support. The group includes Abby & Anne who have both recently adopted sweet baby girls from Ethiopia. They are truly an inspiration to me. Abby returned from Ethiopia over Mother's Day weekend with her beautiful daughter Maggie. And Anne has been home 3 weeks since being united with Olivia who I got to meet for the first time this past weekend.

What's missing from this photo? The Third Musketeer, of course! Hopefully Olivia & Maggie will have another playmate by early next year. :) In six months, I moved from #105 to my current number of 50, so I should be right on track with the estimated 12-month wait. In the meantime, I'll get lots of practice loving on Maggie and Olivia!

Love this quote

2009-05-21T10:34:00.002-05:00

I saw this posted on another adoptive family's blog, and it touched me:

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life. But those who make their journey home across time and miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God's very own hands.

--Kristin Larson

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-07T16:32:00.005-05:00

With Mother’s Day approaching this weekend, I have so much on my mind:

My own mom who will have her first Mother’s Day without her mom. We miss you, Grandma!

My friend, Abby, who is returning from Ethiopia this weekend with her sweet baby girl, Maggie. The ultimate Mother’s Day for her!

My furry ‘children’, Maya and Spencer, and the heartbreaking decision I have made to give Maya to my parents after spending a challenging year of unsuccessfully trying to bring the 2 cats back together after they suddenly decided they hated each other. It’s a long story if you don’t already know it! I just hope and pray Maya will adapt to her new home, and that it will turn out to be a blessing for everyone involved. I believe this experience has given me a taste of the unconditional love a mother feels for her child. I selfishly don’t want to let Maya go, but I also want the very best for her as well as Spencer.

And finally, of course, I’m thinking about how next year I will hopefully be celebrating my first Mother’s Day with my precious daughter. Don’t you love my new t-shirt? :)

Be patient and wait with confidence

2009-04-29T12:47:00.002-05:00

I receive a daily devotional from Joel & Victoria Osteen. Today's email especially spoke to me:

"…See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm…"
(James 5:7-8, NIV).

The Bible tells us that we should wait for God’s promises like a farmer waits for his harvest. Now, I’ve never seen a farmer plant a crop and then worry night and day about whether or not it’s going to come up. He doesn’t lose sleep thinking, "Oh, I hope that my corn is going to take root. Please God, let my corn bring a harvest." No, he waits with confidence, knowing that the harvest will come. He does his part, and he knows that seed will produce a good crop.
In the same way, we should wait confidently for the promises of God. We have to stand firm on His Word. It’s not enough to just hope that your situation is going to turn around. Instead of the attitude "I hope I get well", have the attitude of confidence and say, "Thank You, Lord that I am getting well." Start waiting like the farmer. Wait with a knowing. Wait with confidence. Be sure that as you put God’s Word into practice, just like the farmer, you will see that harvest of blessing in your own life in return.

I am waiting with faith, confidence and loads of patience that my baby is on her way. For those of you keeping track, I believe I am now at #73. I celebrate each little advancement up the list!

A Mother for Choco

2009-03-06T13:12:00.002-06:00

I was asked by my friend & former co-worker, Samantha, to read to her 1st graders at Inglewood Elementary this week. It was so much fun hanging with those sweet energetic kiddos, and I was moved by the sea of President Obama drawings on the school's hallway wall. I chose to read “A Mother for Choco” about a bird trying to find his mother who eventually lets a Mama Bear become his mom and realizes they don’t have to look alike to love each other and be a family. It's a great book for parents to read to their adoptive children - and I can't wait to share it with my daughter someday.

In less than a 2-month period, if I'm keeping track correctly, I have moved from #105 to #82 on the waiting list. Slowly but surely, we're making progress!

One year ago today...

2009-01-23T13:23:00.000-06:00

I just happened to notice that today marks exactly 1 year since I took a big gulp and signed the application to adopt a baby. It has been a year of all-over-the-map emotions – excitement, disappointment, joyful anticipation and fear of the unknown. Yet throughout my experiencing all of these feelings, I have been surprisingly calm and at peace that everything is happening for a reason, and my baby will present herself when the time is right. In other words, in God’s time.
I was bursting with pride for my country this week as Barack Obama was sworn in as our president. I know some people say race shouldn’t be an issue, but how could it not be? To think of how far this country has come! I can’t wait to bring my daughter home where, as President Obama said, she will have “the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.”

After 1 year, the official wait has begun!

2009-01-16T13:14:00.003-06:00

I woke up this morning feeling like this would be the day I heard from my agency. And sure enough, Toni just emailed that they have received my dossier from DC, and I am officially on the waiting list. After starting this journey 11 months, 3 weeks & 3 days ago, to be exact, my wait now "begins". The current wait for a referral is 6-9 months then I can expect to travel and bring her home 3-1/2 - 4 months after receiving the referral. Please keep me in your prayers as I prepare for this exciting adventure!

Happy New Year - To My Daughter

2008-12-31T15:12:00.000-06:00

Dear Sweet Baby Girl:

As this year comes to an end, I can’t help but think it will hopefully be the last year of my life spent without you. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you and how much I look forward to being your mom. In the coming days, I will wonder if you are born yet – I know you have already been conceived in my heart. God continues to bless my life in ways that I couldn’t even imagine, and I continue to see His plan being played out. I know that every step I have taken so far is leading me closer to you. No doubt 2009 is going to be a wonderful and memorable year. I can’t wait to lay my eyes on your beautiful face!

Love,
Mommy

Here's what a dossier looks like

2008-12-13T16:26:00.003-06:00

This represents months of hard work collecting various paperwork - medical report stating I am healthy, police report stating I'm not a criminal, home study from my social worker, photos, birth certificate, reference letters, passport, employment letter, financial statement, etc. Every piece of paper had to be notarized, then certified by the county in which it was notarized, THEN authenticated by the Secretary of State. Quite a tedious process, but no doubt worth every second!

Yes, Gina, there IS a Santa Claus!

2008-12-12T19:29:00.002-06:00

So would you believe the day after I posted my last entry, I opened my mailbox to find that beautiful envelope I've been waiting for from CIS? Everyone said it was a 6-11 week wait, but it turned out to be just less than 5 weeks - my own little Christmas miracle! So my dossier is now complete and was Fedex'd to my adoption agency today. Lord willing, I will officially be on the waiting list by mid-January. Woo hoo!

Congratulations Abby!

2008-12-09T18:32:00.004-06:00

I received the wonderful news today that my friend Abby received her referral from Ethiopia - a beautiful 2-month-old baby girl. I am so thrilled for her. She will travel to Ethiopia in 3-4 months to bring her home. It's going to be wonderful to have a friend who goes through the journey before me - I'm sure I'll learn a lot from her experiences. Hearing her news made it seem all the more real that this is really going to happen for me. I am waiting on 1 little piece of paper from CIS (Citizenship & Immigration Services) that will enable me to officially get on the waiting list. It would be a wonderful Christmas gift to get it in the mail - I hold my breath every day when I open the mailbox. Hopefully the wait won't be much longer - then I can breathe and officially start to REALLY wait!

Welcome to my blog!

2008-12-04T13:01:00.003-06:00

I look forward to sharing my adoption journey with my family & friends. In January, after a lot of thought and prayer, I made the huge decision to adopt a baby. I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom, and while it isn’t happening the way I figured it would, I am extremely excited and feel very much at peace with my decision. I have been interested in adoption for a long time, and felt drawn to becoming mom to a child who needs a home. I chose to adopt internationally from Vietnam and got the ball rolling in gathering all the necessary paperwork to make it happen. Unfortunately, the U.S. began accusing Vietnam of unethical adoption practices over the summer, and the program officially closed in September. I didn’t know what I was going to do as my options were limited since many countries won’t adopt to single parents. The head of my local agency touched base with me in late September to see if I had made any decisions. She had just returned from adopting 2 sisters from Ethiopia, so out of the blue, I casually asked if she ever thought Ethiopia would open to singles, and then BOOM! she informed me that they would be able to accept me into the Ethiopia program. It blew my mind as I didn’t think Ethiopia was accepting singles, but I learned they will approve a small quantity of single applicants. I prayed about it, did some research, and talked to a few people who have adopted from Ethiopia or are in the process, and it didn’t take long before I reached the conclusion that God wouldn’t have opened this door if I wasn’t supposed to walk through it, so I have proceeded with the transfer. Everyone around me has been so supportive, and I know this baby will be surrounded by love. I’m a little freaked out – and very excited! – that the current wait is only 6-9 months as opposed to the 3+ year wait I was expecting from Vietnam. Once I receive my referral (meaning I get the call that they have a baby for me), I will likely have to wait another 2-3 months before traveling to Ethiopia to bring my baby home. By this time next year, I could be a mom! I am requesting an infant girl, 0-12 months. I am just a few weeks from submitting my dossier – an unbelievably extensive amount of paperwork for those of you unfamiliar with the international adoption process - which will officially put me on the waiting list. Please keep me in your prayers as I ride this rollercoaster. International adoption is an adventure, full of highs and lows, but I am keeping the faith that my child will be presented to me when the time is right.