This is by far the most difficult blog post I have made so far, but perhaps the most important. To all of you already experienced in the adoption world, this is Adoption 101. This post is for my amazing friends and family who are celebrating this wonderful time with me and have never been this close to adoption.
Let me start by saying there is nothing I would love more than to see all of your faces as I get off the plane with Eden. And I would love to bring her by my workplace soon after we’re home and pass her around to all of those who have anticipated Eden’s arrival with such excitement and support. But when I started this process, I quickly learned this is not what’s best for Eden, and of course, she is top priority. Think about it – she hasn’t been with her mom for the first 10 months of her life. She will not recognize me as her mom, and in her own way, she will surely grieve leaving the only home and ‘family’ she has known. It’s going to be overwhelming for her as she enters a new and much bigger world. Just as a newborn bonds with her mother, Eden and I will have to go through an intimate bonding cycle where I consistently show her that I, as her mom, will meet her needs when she is hungry, needs her diaper changed, or simply wants to be held. She is going to need time to transfer the trust she has for her current caretakers to me.
So am I saying I don’t need you when we get home? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I most definitely will need your support more than ever, but instead of asking you to watch Eden so I can accomplish a particular task, I would instead be grateful for help in the form of providing a meal, running an errand, or perhaps mowing my yard. There is no doubt I am going to be overwhelmed, but I feel so blessed to have so many people rooting for me. Staying low-key for awhile will hopefully pay off in the long run as Eden is slowly introduced to her multitude of fans!
Above is the latest pic of my sweet girl – it won’t be long now before we are face to face!